Board Thread:Citizenship Applications/@comment-31604582-20170721184357/@comment-3542404-20170721203546

Quick note, your formatting went sideways, I've fixed it to make it readable for everyone.


 * You really need to expand on the appearance and personality sections, a single sentence is far from enough to fully explain everything about them. Rather than saying "she looks like the image" try to explain the image in your own words.
 * 8 is a bit late for a child of a bender to find out he/she is also a bender, but unless anyone else raises that issue I'll let it slide.
 * You talk about her family, but maybe give them names to help flesh out the history?
 * Her dad was mean, pushing her to do stuff, and he was a firebending prodigy (Elaborate: what stuff? What made him so good?)
 * She wasn't popular around her town, but she was friends with many. (This seems like an oxymoron, how is she not popular but still has a lot of friends?)
 * He eventually came back (Came back from where?)
 * Then she decided to join Republic City, hoping to find a new life there. (Bit out of the blue, can't you add some kind of additional motivation or build-up here?)