User blog:Azrael the Sorrowful/How to improve your roleplaying capabilities

Ok, so, I recently made a half-joke in chat where I rated some of the users on the wiki into different tiers of roleplaying capabilities. Of course, because he wasn't in the highest tier, Hydro has been hounding me about how he could improve. So, I decided to do a bit of an illustration in the chat to show him how he could improve. I figured, if people wanted to, you could see this illustration for yourself and possibly improve as well. So, here's what I did. I asked Hydro to post a roleplay of his character Kairo coming into a room to see Mei. After he did, I then posted my own version of it to show what could be improved. Here's what was posted:

Hydro's
"It was quite late as he entered the room, a ray of moonlight having made it's way inside. Kairo was dressed in all black and quickly pulled off his mask. He seemed quite fatigued as he dropped himself onto the bed, pulling Mei closer to him."

Mine
"Kairo was giddy with anticipation as he was to see Mei very soon. His day had been long and complicated to say the least and he was ready to lay down and relax. As he made his way to their apartment he sighed in relief that he was finally free of the duties he had to take on for the day. He opened the door and eyed around looking for Mei. Upon finding her lying on the bed across the room, he smiled and nodded at her in greeting. 'Hey, I'm home; how was your day?' he asked as he silently noted a ray of moonlight coming from the the window and casting a bright while light across the floor. He made is way passed as he pulled off his mask and his dark black jacket and walked toward the bed where Mei was. He climbed upon the bed, clearly fatigued by the laborious day he had had, he ran his hands across his weary face and rubbed at his now bloodshot eyes. He yawned lightly as he reached out for Mei and attempted to pull her closer to him."

Now, the first thing to note is that mine is roughly three times longer than Hydro's post. This doesn't necessarily mean it is better. Length is in a lot of cases a handicap people will use to make their posts seem better than they truly are. The real key to better roleplaying is detail. With that being said, more detail will inadvertently lead to a longer post. So, while length can be a sign of a better post, it is not universally true.

With that in mind, detail is the main thing I'd like to discuss. Roleplaying, and writing in general, is all about detail. You're describing the actions of your character to another person/people so that they might better understand it all and then reply accordingly. So, with that in mind, a ton of details would be good right? Well, no, not necessarily. A lot of details can be just as bad as a very little amount of details. It's best to find a good balance between the two. People often add a bunch of useless fluff to their roleplays in the form of unneeded details.

Unfortunately, this is a pretty big gray area. Who's to say what is too little or too much detail? In my experience, a good question to ask yourself about a sentence in a roleplay is, "Is this part needed and will it really better improve the quality of my post?" This way, you will objectively look what you are writing and decide if it needs to be there.

So, taking a look back at Hydro's post and mine, there are a few more things I'd like to discuss. Mostly, what details did I add, what details did I keep and how did I alter some things in the post? With the post, I tried to keep it roughly the same as what Hydro posted but then expand it more. The most notable thing I added was a mental component. I added the perspective of Kairo's mind and what he was thinking to the post. This is a great way to add a whole new dynamic to a roleplay that most will end up leaving out. I find that this not only looks better but also explains a lot of things with greater ease when trying to communicate to whoever you are roleplaying with.

Next, I added a lot more direct action taken by Kairo. Hydro's post was fairly stiff in this aspect. Kairo comes into the room, he takes off his mask, goes to the bed and pulls Mei toward him. This is very cut and dry. It's just the bare minimum of the things he did. In my post I expanded by adding a bit of precursor stuff involving him moving to the apartment as well as opening the door. I also added the part where he scans the room for Mei as wel as removing more than just the mask before going toward the bed. One major thing to note here is how I had him remove the mask and jacket he was wearing. Rather than, like Hydro did, listing what he was wearing and then saying he took it off; which is very plain. I had him remove the clothing, while describing it at the same time as he made his way toward Mei. This better allows for the post to seem more fluid. You're not just listing things off but actually describing what is happening.

On a very minor note, I also removed a slight godmod that Hydro had Kairo perform. At the very end of his post, he had Kairo pull Mei toward him. Now, while this may not seem important, it is actually one of the biggest no-no's in roleplaying. Anything from directly taking and action for another person's character to forcing that character into taking a specific action is godmodding. In this case, Hydro forced Mei to be pulling in by Kairo. Now, this doesn't seem so bad, he just pulled her to him right; but think about how limiting that could be to Mei in a reply post. What if Mei was upset at Kairo and wanted to resist being pulled in for example. In that instance, Mei's actions were forced before she could even take them. Now, don't get me wrong, this is a very minor case and in a lot of situations would be completely acceptable depending on who you are roleplaying with. It's just something that, in my opinion, would be a good idea to avoid as it allows for broader outcomes and also is just a higher quality of writing.

The last thing I'd like to mention is vocabulary. Just like any other form of writing, the words you use mean everything; the amount as well as what specific ones you choose to use. As such, adding more specific words is often a very good thing. That is the beauty of the English language. We have so many words for very similar things that allows for the things we write to become very specific and clear. For example, take this sentence, "I feel good." Cut and dry, it is completely acceptable, but could it be better? What if instead of 'good' we used 'wonderful' or 'joyous' or 'merry', 'pleased', 'marvelous', 'satisfied', 'honored'; take your pick. All of them are just more descriptive words that could be used to better enhance what is being said.

Now, this don't simply mean go in and replace the word 'good' with 'wonderful' everywhere you use it. Some instances may be better fit with another word; in fact, in some instances, 'good' might actually be the best word to use. It's all about the situation. You also might not need to change anything but rather add things. Take the two posts yet again. In both we describe Kairo as being fatigued. The difference is, in mine, I elaborate a lot more. it's not just: "He was tired." It's: "He was tired, and here's why; here's how he's reacting to it." The first is fine, but the second is so much better.

As I said in chat when I did this illustration. This is the difference between a good roleplay and a great roleplay.