User blog:TehHarvester/Late Night Rants With Harv - 6 - AMA edition

Welcome to Harv’s AMA LRN. Huzzah for acronyms. I’ve had some fun, and organised these questions based on least exciting to most exciting. Keep the comments not shitty and accept that there will be swearing.

On a scale of 0-1, how Chuck Norris-ish is your beard? -Wing (asked it jokingly in chat but I answered anyway)

Depends on how recently I shaved. If I’m in a state of proper beard, it’s honestly like a 0.6. However, now I’m in a state of stubble, so it’s down to like a 0.1, only because same colour.

Why did you ever decide to get into rping? -Hydro

Honestly, it was by accident. I saw wiki this a while back when trying to fanfiction and contemplated joining like September/October. I decided too much effort and didn’t. Bored, I spontaneously decided to give this a shot and here I am. I like writing and stories, plus loving the living fuck out of drama, I got into it quickly. Then I started playing D&D. I wouldn’t say I’m a serious RPer, but at the same time, it’s still fun.

On a scale from 1-10, how stereotypically Australian do you think you are? -Miseth

A solid 6. I use cunt to describe everything, beer is tasty, I like sport heaps, I love the beach, look tan as fuck, however, I don’t go overboard into the full bogan. My hair is not a mullet, I don’t exist to kangaroo, and my vocabulary is far most sophisticated than the imagined idea that we all interact via simplistic expressions and tones with callous disregard for intellectualism.

How did you lose your virginity? -Hydro

I like how the status of my celibacy is so completely tossed out the window that he doesn’t even bother to ask if I’ve lost it first. As for how, well, home alone with the ex, making out, some deep and meaningful conversation later, clothes ended up on the floor and suddenly shit was happening. Wasn’t really much more planning, just a lot of action. This encounter was the first of the pregnancy scares. And the fact that I did it again afterwards is kinda scary.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare before? -Hydro/Ast

I wish it was only one. The number is more like three. Let’s put it like this, ladies and gents. When I get into my “I’m about to screw” zone, my blood that would normally be allocated to my brain has been redistributed for other uses. It’s very safe to assume I’m not thinking clearly, and because teenage libido, reaching for protection is the last thing on my mind. Also, they - well, they aren’t that much of drama, condoms kinda slightly lessen the awesomeness of it. As much as I’d like to say let’s not raise that number any more… I know what I’m like.

If you could date anyone on this wiki, who would it be? -Wing

Firstly, because I'm hetero, saying other people's is redundant as all my chars are male. As a result, I'd say Koko first pick, followed by Eru. First clause is age - while I'd go after Sakari like a fucking bullet she's also too old for me, my age range is 16-18. Second, Koko has a lot of qualities I appreciate, such as tolerance, intelligence and all-round lacking in bitchiness. The reason Eru is second on the list not first is while she may share these traits, she also has a fair bit of emotional baggage, which isn't my favourite thing in the whole damn world.

Tell us of and describe the person you hate most on this earth and how you would bring about their slow and bloody demise? -Gig

I can honestly not separate this from two people so I have to do both.

One has been a pain in the bollocks with my current relationship. She’s fat, stupid, self-righteous and attention seeking. Her existence seems to be sitting on her fucking high horse judging all those she feels herself to be better than and feeling as if everything revolves around whatever bullshit fucking emotional shit she’s just made up so some derpy fucking shit-for-brains cunt who can’t see through the fucking facade and feels sorry for her.

I would enjoy her demise by covering her breathing holes (mouth and nose) via duct tape and enjoying the irony of her actually suffering in silence while she suffocates.

Secondly, this cunt is the most arrogant, selfish person I’ve ever met. I know him through cricket (it’s a sport we play in australia, for the less cultured among you) and since like under 12’s he’s just been a problem for me because I’m the only person there who isn’t a spineless sack of shit who can actually tell him where to go shove what up where - hint - it’s a cactus and the gaping hole in his fucking cunt so deep it goes out his throat or arsehole, whatever’ll be fucked up more by it. I got him kicked from the captaincy by popular support, so go me. Since then, he’s hated me behind pretence of friendship and he only really whines and bitches behind my back.

For him, I wouldn’t waste the decency of death upon him. He can have his whole life turn to shit because he’s dense enough to suck in most objects around him. No wonder he’s so fucking fat.

Tell us the story behind how you got together with your gf. -Miseth

Okay. This is a long story, so buckle the fuck up, ladies, gentlemen and hydro. This tale begins in the early, early part of last year - like, February? Anyway. Year 10 was not a good year for me - I haven’t had a good year since I was, like, 13/14 and in year 8. Basically, I’m not cool, never have been, so any chick with a pretty face immediately catches my eye on the off chance they might tolerate my presence, especially if they’re new and I’m single. And my gf was exactly one of those.

I live in a city called Canberra - well, on the outskirts of it anyway - and my school is there. About an hour out of town there’s a place called Cooma - smallish town, and had no real school that went to year 12 or something like that. Anyway, about 15-20 of them joined our year group. She was one of them.

Anyway, after many discussions about nerdiness, games of age of empires and the astronomy course later, we kinda both sorta started to like each other. This was about… May? However, it was not to work out this time for a key reason - me.

Taking it back again to when I was thirteen, I met this chick at the beach this one time and then we stayed in touch via phone numbers and facebook. I feel completely in love (I do that way too often) and because she lived like two hours away, it just ended up poorly and not quite working out. As a result, distances and I don’t work out very well. Because of that, I used every single logical fibre in my body to stop myself liking her. I used my main method and got into someone else. That someone else was a total bitch and later I kinda found out there was a lot of shit in her head I never wanted anything to do with, but it stalled me until I ended up in a relationship.

Because my - okay, there’s like three people in this world I’d consider best real life friends, and that’s a guy I’ve known since I was five, Gig, and my ex. Last year, she had a lot of relationship bullshit go wrong in her life, and because I’m me and really fucking nice, I gave out a lot of emotional reassurance and logical advice which worked out. As the year progressed, because of that, we got closer, and some amount of making out later, we started dating. Around this point in time I started to catch onto the fact my current gf had a thing for me. This could only have sucked for her, but she’s at least capable of logic and reason enough to not have a breakdown.

Looking at some psychology here, specifically, Meyer-Briggs mixed in with big five personality, I’m thinking and assertive, ex was feeling and turbulent. I had no problems with saying flat out what I honestly thought, which did not bode well for someone who had serious issues with confidence and was constantly worried about what other people thought. Safe to say, I got dumped.

Despite my calm rationality, it still hurt. I had to do something I did last year - get my mind taken up with someone else. Fortunately enough, I found the perfect candidate - current gf. However, this time, what continued to strike me was how fucking similar we were. Both of us are massive nerds who are secure, hard to offend, have an appreciation for metal and enjoy very long discussions about life, the universe and everything.

I was not letting this chance go to waste. Fuck that. I was stepping up my game. Pulling Meyer-Briggs out again, I was explained to that she was INTP. A quick search later revealed that they were into what I was doing, so I squealed internally and decided to keep doing what I was doing and just waited for the right time.

Swimming carnival came around, and aside from having penises drawn on me, I spent most of my time hanging around with her. Also, she looks fucking good in a bikini. I’mma just let that one out. Anyway, she ended up lying on top of me for a little bit with some hand holding so that was some good signs.

At our school, we have these things called “moderation days,” where we all have the day off and do nothing while teachers check they aren’t obviously biased. I ended up playing D&D, and me and the current gf but not the gf then were the fifth and sixth wheels; Gig and his gf were there, as was my other best mate and his gf. Was going to tell her I liked her, pussied the fuck out despite the fact we were alone getting pizza for a part of it. Or that might have been because we almost had an accident (she was driving) and I needed her mind in the game. Still, we spent the rest of the time I was there snuggling and she was very unhappy about me leaving.

As Lissy and AZ can attest to, at some point (the day after) I was able to force myself to tell her how I felt. Which went well, and we went deeper into a limbo stage of “okay we both like each other now what the fuck do we do?” and we decided to just go with whatever the fuck we were doing and it was working pretty well.

Monday night (of last week) was our first kiss. Bowling, late night, huge group, goodnight kiss. Fucking hell I’m smooth. Since then, at some point last week, we kinda just accepted we’re dating and have just been super cute with loads of snuggling + a tiny bit of making out once because I’m good at shit.

That’s all, but if you comment a cool question, I’ll maybe answer it. This was fun, I’d recommend you guys give it a go once, at least.